How to Plan a Funeral Wake or Reception

Funerals can often be sombre, tiring and emotional events. So, a funeral wake or reception is typically less formal and more positive. It provides an opportunity for friends and family of the person who has died to share memories of their loved one and celebrate their life. 

This gathering is usually held before or shortly after a funeral service. Traditionally, a wake is another word for a viewing which takes place before the funeral with the body of the person. A wake after the funeral might be called a funeral reception instead. However, you can do both or neither and call it whatever you deem appropriate – it’s completely up to you. 

A wake and funeral might be attended by the same people or there may be reasons mourners could attend one, but not the other. A funeral reception can be a wonderful way to pay tribute to someone who has died as mourners share stories, eat, drink and comfort each other. Here we will guide you, step-by-step, through how to plan a funeral wake or reception. 

Who Should I Invite to a Funeral Wake or Reception?

A wake can be either a private gathering for close family or open to the wider community. This will usually depend on whether you want to hold a quiet wake shortly after the funeral, and something larger later on. Guests may choose to attend the wake if they couldn’t make it to the funeral service. A funeral reception may also be a good thing for children to attend if you or their parents do not want them to attend the funeral service. Once you know the time and the place of the wake, you can call or email friends and family or use a death announcement in the paper or on social media. Setting up an online memorial page can be another good way of keeping people up to date. If you are choosing to keep the wake private, you can send out invitations or ask close family members to spread the word.

Where Should I Hold a Funeral Wake or Reception? 

The wake can be held anywhere you want, mostly depending on whether you are planning a small or large gathering. The venue that you choose is entirely up to you, but it needs to be both affordable and practical. Some of the more common wake venues are:

• Your own home
• Family home
• Church halls
• Pubs
• Social clubs
• Sports clubs
• Hotels

You might also wish to consider what the person who has passed away would have wanted. There might be a venue that was particularly important to them and held happy memories. Choice of venue is a great way to personalise a loved one’s funeral. Make sure you book the venue in advance and you may need to visit the venue beforehand if you wish to decorate it.

Should There be Food and Drink at a Funeral Wake or Reception? 

Food is typically provided at a wake as a nice way of remembering the person who has passed away. Perhaps they had a dish that they were known for particularly enjoying, or perhaps they held roots in another country and you could have an international themed buffet. If you’d like, you could ask each guest to bring a dish for a pot-luck. 

Whatever you decide to serve your guests, you should be careful to have enough food prepared to serve everyone and a plan of how you can stretch refreshments if food begins to run out, perhaps by preparing extra. 

If you do prepare food yourself then simple light-snacks such as sandwiches, crisps, cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, cheese and crackers are always good options for buffet food and some comforting desserts such as cakes, tarts and cookies tend to be well received. 

What Happens at a Funeral Wake or Reception?

Many funeral wake ideas centre around reflecting the loved one’s personality. People choose to have entertainment and also to decorate the venue in a particular way, wishing to celebrate the life of the person who has passed away as well as mourn their passing. There are lots of ways that you can personalise a funeral reception: 

• A memory tree, book or wall: You could ask guests to write a memory on a tag or label and attach it to a tree, book or a board. This is a good way to create something that you can keep to remind you of your loved one. Alternatively, you could put together a memory table. This is a table filled with photographs, letters, old school reports and other visual items from your loved ones life. You might also wish to put together a memory book for attendees to put down their memories of the person who has passed away in writing. This could then be transferred to an online memorial page.
• Releasing balloons or lanterns: You can also write memories on these if you so choose. Another option could be to write messages on paper boats and release them onto a lake. Just make sure that releasing the objects is safe, that you have permission, and that you choose biodegradable balloons, lanterns or paper.
• A slideshow or video: Picture slideshows can be a heartfelt way of remembering the life of your loved one with your favourite photographs of them, accompanied by their favourite songs, or in silence for quiet reflection.. You could also consider putting together a visual display. Preparing a video reel of home videos or photographs can be a nice way to remember your loved one. If you wish to do this then you should enquire with the venue as to whether they have a projection screen or see if you can source one from elsewhere.
• Music: There are many ways you could have music at a funeral wake, from simply creating a playlist of your loved one’s favourite songs to hiring a musician. You can even ask the guests for suggestions of tracks that remind them of time spent with the person who has died. 

Create a space where you can keep memories of your loved one, brought together at a funeral wake, alive by setting up a memorial page.